Someone Found The Worlds To Say...

I stumbled across a blog on Facebook this morning, shared by a cousin who is also a fellow military spouse. Upon reading it, most of the words hit home.  Very close to home.  And I felt compelled to share.  Yes, I am a military wife, and proud of it.  Is it an easy life, no.  Would I change anything, absolutely not.  Because if I did, I wouldn't be married to the man I love or be a mother to the most wonderful little boy.

For 14 years, I've had to be independent and do everything on my own while being stationed 1,000 miles away from home, from friends and family.  I've spent a lot of time on my own in new places while my husband is deployed, having to learn my way around a new city or state while knowing no one in the area.  It's taught me a lot of independence, for which I am grateful, but it's not easy.  I've had to be strong when being strong is the last thing I want to do.  I have to put on a brave face while worrying about my husband, not knowing where he is or if he's ok while he's deployed.  I watch the news and hope for NO news, because no news is good news when you are a military spouse.  But no news doesn't stop the wondering and the worrying.  My husband is a submariner.  He's not on the front lines, but that doesn't mean his job isn't as dangerous, because it is.  It's just not talked about.  He deploys to war zones just like everyone else in other branches.  He fights those same wars.  Albeit from under water.  But that doesn't make it safer.  Because our silent service isn't the only silent service under the surface of the ocean.  We've gone almost 70 days with no contact during missions.  That means no phone, no Skype, not even email.  You truly don't know where your husband is or if he is ok, and like I said above, you hope for no news when you watch the news on t.v.

70 days may seem like a short time, but for those of us who wait, it's an eternity.  And what makes it tougher is having civilian friends and family who don't understand what it's like, they've never been in that situation.  And over the years, it's been said to me that "you chose this life, so why do you complain".  No, I chose to marry the man I love and stand by him while he defends our country.  That's a big difference.  And I don't complain.  Sure, I get lonely a lot, and it's not easy.  And once in a while when having to be strong just isn't an option, I should be allowed to let it all out.  And cry on someone's shoulder when I feel like my world is crashing down.  That's not complaining, that's baring my soul to someone I should be able to confide in.  Some days are just tougher than others.  And we're just like civilian wives in that we're human and we're women, and sometimes we just need to vent.  And that should be ok, but it's often not.  We're expected to put on a brave face day in and day out and always be strong, even when we're falling apart inside.

I've lived this life for 14 years, and most days I am ok and get through most days just fine.  But some days we military wives just need something as simple as a hug and someone to tell us everything will be ok.  Once in a while we need a couple hours to just do our own thing and have a break from the kids just to breathe again.  But because many of us have had to be strong for so long, we don't ask for help.  We don't always know how.  Sometimes we just need someone to step in once in a while and say "Hey, let me do this for you today".  It's the simple things like that that make all the difference.  I think a lot of people often take for granted that their spouses come home every night, they always know where they are, that they are a phone call away or only gone for a day or two on a business trip, while we wait at home and count the days until we can see our loved ones again.

I am fortunate that I have an amazing family and a few close friends I can rely on and without them I would have gotten lost along the way.  But sometimes, it's not always easy to tell everyone about the struggles we face.  But when I read a military wife's blog this morning, it said exactly what I've not been able to say for a long time.  Exactly what I've shared in all of my ramblings above.  It gave me the courage to share a little bit of the struggles I face that I can't always tell everyone.

So if I haven't bored you to death by this point, please take an extra couple of minutes to follow the link below and read the blog that inspired me this morning.

Faith Deployed

A Pirate's Wife

Hello everyone!  So I've decided to do a little something different with my blog.  I've changed it all up from what it used to be.  I used to blog about cloth diapers, and little mini adventures in my son's life.  But I've kind of gotten away from that and haven't really blogged in some time.  My little guy is now almost 2 1/2 and will soon be potty training, so lets face it, I can only write for so long about cloth diapers.  And besides, not everyone I know (friends and family alike) is as excited about cloth diapers as I am.  Ha!  I've been thinking a lot, and I really wish I'd started a family blog from the beginning when our son was born to chronicle all his adventures in life.  So why delay any longer?  I still want to write about my son's adventures, mommy adventures, and our life as a military family, so that's the plan from here on out.

So why "A Pirate's Wife"?  Well, it's simple really.  I'm married to a sailor, "J", who is in the United States Navy.  He's a submariner and has been one for 14 years.  We are high school sweet hearts, have been together since we were 17 and married since 19, and I wouldn't have it any other way.  J is the love of my life, where he goes, I will follow.  We've moved from our home state of Nebraska to South Carolina, to Connecticut, then Hawaii, and then back to Connecticut, and it's been a great journey so far.  He really is the most amazing man and father and I am tremendously proud of him for all he does for our family.  He sacrifices a lot to keep our family and our country safe.  I often joke with J that he's my very own pirate.  So that's the inspiration for the name of my blog.  He's the pirate, I'm the wife.

"C" is our son.  He's our little miracle.  We tried for 6 years, struggling with infertility, before he arrived in our arms.  I will never forget the day I found out I was pregnant with him.  Still some days I just can't believe it.  I thank the heavens for him every day.  C is full of spirit and spitfire, he's ornery and brave, he's smart, he's rough and tumble, he's silly and sassy, and full of curiosity.  He loves dinosaurs, puzzles, Disney, and cars.  And we can't forget Pedro the stuffed penguin.  We can't go anywhere without Pedro.  That blue stuffed penguin is here to stay.  C is amazing and never ceases to make me smile, and he melts my heart every day.

It's been a fabulous journey so far this life of ours, and I can only hope the years to come are just as fabulous.  I invite you to come along for the ride.